I’m so numb when I hear about someone’s death. There’s a part that wants to cry, a part that dies inside and a part that said they will be alright in the afterlife. Normally, if the person isn’t immediate family, it takes me 2 years to feel anything. Seriously.
My earliest memories of my auntie was staying at her house and spending time with my uncle Andy Sr. and my cousins Andy Jr., Andre & Shelly-Ann. Those moments I cherished growing up, not really fitting in with my father’s side of the family. History lesson here: I remember having my Game Boy Color! 😂😂 Good times they were…I remember crying because my auntie Cheryl yelled at me. It was something over not getting ice cream and getting yogurt instead. I was quick to cry about things when I was younger. Hard to do so now. Life has shown me that a boy’s tears aren’t taken as seriously as a girl’s but that’s for another post. That what the last time I saw my auntie for a decade.
The summer of ’12, my mother, sister and I went to Trinidad to see my relatives, mostly if not all on my mother’s side. I remember after a full decade, when she saw my my face, she was the one who cried. I cried in the past because I was scared, she cried in the present because she was happy. I can’t recall seeing tears of joy ever in my life unless it was on a TV screen. I saw it in person and it was the most beautiful thing. I couldn’t enjoy the moment at the time because of my own personal issues at the time. As I look back, her personal issues far exceeded anything I had to go through…and she still managed to smile. The memory of my whole family hanging out at my Uncle Tony & Aunt Kathy’s house partying and having a good time is the one I will treasure forever. As I get older, it seems like time is passing by too quickly, like I’m running out of it.
Two years after this, she passed. I know it had to hurt my mother that she couldn’t make the funeral at the time. I remember having an uneasy feeling in my stomach when it happened. I had to take three weeks off because my mind was in another place. I haven’t been to Trinidad since then. But something that I have always appreciated going to Trinidad is that the love is always there. They didn’t have the things that I am accustomed to in America, but they had love. From my Grandma who turned 80 last year, to my charismatic aunties in Antoinette and Monica and the new additions to the family: the love that they have is something I don’t have up here in America. They are the fortunate ones.
As a pic, this was the best thing I could due since my old pics are inaccessible. Will & Aunt Viv. Sounds about right. This date marks 2 years since she has left our family. Hopefully, as I walk the stage on Grad Day, I can see her familiar face, smile and her tears of joy.