Week 16/ 2016

It’s never too early to start over as long as you are still alive. Within the span of two days, Chyna and Prince passed away. Both were people I knew about when I was a kid. Chyna with the WWE, Prince with the Chapelle Show skits!! šŸ˜ƒšŸ‘Œ This is the first time in a long time I actually sat down and thought about death. No mortal has ever escaped from it either…I’m not going to get into detail about what happens after, that’s for another post not this one.

For these past couple of years, I have been in a state of a phoenix bird. Crashed and burned then rose anew from the ashes left behind. It is only now I’m starting to feel comfortable doing so. Wanted things to remain the same for so long..is different now. New goals, new responsibilities, this has to be the growing pains 20 somethings have to be experiencing. To be honest, I am scared out of my mind. It feels like walking on a tightrope on the way to success. The difference when you are an adult, there’s little to no safety net for your fall. You see and feel others and it’s like a cakewalk for them. They have better balance, better wind control…wait..is he using his hands? Does she have a unicycle? You can’t look over. You choose not to. You can only take one step further towards your destination. Even when you mind feels like mashed potatoes. Even when your legs feels like kendo sticks. As long you continue to move, it should be fine. I hope.

My body, mind and spirit are only prototypes right now. Similar to Stunning Steve Austin, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and the guy pictured for this post, Rocky Maivia. When watching WWE in late ’99, I knew him as many people today as the Rock. But the Rocky Maivia reminded me about myself. Following all the rules, being the good guy all the time with a smile on my face. It doesn’t work for you in the real world. Not saying this from a sense of entitlement but people can see right through the B.S. It’s inauthentic. I didn’t have that it factor that made people say, he is the guy. Not when it came to jobs, friends or women. There was a part of me that had to say enough was enough. I noticed over time, I became more outspoken, more brash..there are times where there is uncomfort, but nobody remembers the guy they felt comfortable around. Nobody. Due to people dismay, Rocky Maivia became The Rock and the rest is history. Shedding old ideals and embracing new ideals about my identity is very painful at times. Not as much as going into my casket not changing at all.

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